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Friday, September 14, 2012

Flush the Sporns!

I still get notifies every day about the Facebook Target post, and I'll occasionally glance at the 25 or so that it lists at any given time because following/replying to all the comments long ago stopped being practical. So occasionally I'll see what the most recent 25 commenters have said, and reply to a few of them, and like a few of them just so they know that I saw them. Usually there are two or three that say "This is so fake, why are you people so stupid" or whatever and I try to just reassure whoever actually IS still following the thread that, "no, in fact it is not fake."  But mostly it's still "Go Target!" or "My son has autism and this gives me hope!"

Today, I skimmed the comments however and found one that intrigued me; it cried out for a reply.  I know as a caregiver of an autistic stakeholder I should be outraged, or at the very least I should be correcting or educating. . . but sometimes you just have to recognize the futility of the situation and laugh.  At least. . . at first.

Mike Collier (name changed): 

they have found autism can be controld by diet it is not a mental condition tiny sporns (yes like mushroom sporns) that live in the intestine releases a chemical that affects the brain like alcohol does adults in other words youre child is drunk this why they loose balance ect Keep a low starch diet and more protien and watch the diffrence vitamin c or fresh orange juice helps flush the intestine of the sporn that can never be killed off even with the strongest antibiodics
(Tiny autism sporn, yes like mushroom sporn)
I just want to give Mike a hug and a pat on the head and tell him I'll take care of him and teach him to read and spell and keep the horrible sporns (yes, like mushroom sporns) from making him loose his balance. And flush the sporns that even the strongest antibiodics can't kill! But I don't know him, and he wasn't on my friend list, so I couldn't tag a reply to him. Help save youre children! Theyre autism can be controld!!!  He stated this with the conviction of someone who knows his words to be the gospel truth.  I want his sporns to remain flushed. 

 I was talking to a few people about this yesterday before I wrote this post, and really some spectacular effort was put toward explaining the challenging science of sporns more effectively by Dr. Douglas K. Parsons (possibly not a doctor.  Okay. . . NOT a doctor).  I think when you're talking about curing something, people want to know that it's grounded in well-researched double-blind. . . ish. . . science.  Please do yourself a favor and get educated on the science of sporn flushing.  Sciency Sporn Flushing Link

The concept of "Curing" people of their autism is a very tender subject.  It's a subject I don't really want to address, at least not in the context of this particular blog post.  

In this case, Mike's ideas that autism can be "controld by diet" are rendered immediately ridiculous by the way he expresses himself.  Whatever your theories about eugenics, or cures changing the child (or adult), or there not BEING a cure, I think it's immediately apparent that we can all share a laugh about the cure for autism being to "Flush the sporns" with orange juice and then eat some more protein and cut down on starch.  Mike's message simply cannot be taken seriously because he's incapable of expressing it in a manner that suggest he should be TAKEN seriously.  

But "flush the sporns" as cure is a microcosm for the world of autism snake oil.  What makes Mike's statement amusing is that nobody could possibly take it seriously, what makes it so serious is that there are even MORE ridiculous "cures" offered --cures that make "flush the sporns" seem like a reasonable medical response.  

The following are cures offered by sources LESS laughable than our friend Mike.  It's not my intention here to question the judgement of people who feel these cures work, indeed I have friends who swear they've seen the benefits (perhaps not outright "cure") of more than a couple citations. . . I just mean to offer up the sheer number of "cures" available and how, despite these "cures", autism seems more prevalent than ever:

Stop vaccinating children
Bleach enemas
Chelation
Hyperbaric Chamber
Clean Room
GF/CF diet
Cord blood
Exorcism
Spanking
Having children at a younger age.
Homeopathy
Being in better shape when you have children.
Acupressure
Get more emotionally involved with your children.
Vitamin chocolate
Volcano water
Herbal Tea
Epsom salts
Surfing
Horseback Riding
Music
Lavender Bath
Shaman
Urine (drinking it?)
Vitamin D
Fecal Transplants (FECAL TRANSPLANTS!!!)
Omega Fish Oil
Chiropractic Brain Balancing
Reiki spiritual healing
Immersion
Optometric Light Therapy
Electroshock
Dolphins
Flax seeds
Coconut oil

And yes, some of these (though very few actually) I've taken a little liberty with. . . nobody is actually suggesting, for example, that being in better shape when you have children will CURE autism, they're just saying that if the mother is overweight it increases risk.  So my "cure" is that if there were no overweight moms, (or overage dads for that matter), no more autism (for the purposes of this post, not my actual opinion).  But the most frightening thing of all. . . is that MOST of them I haven't taken ANY liberty with.

I found that the more cures I listed the more pissed off I became.  By the end of the list I wanted shout at someone.  The reason these "cures" aren't funny quite apart from whether a cure is desirable or not, is that they are all packaged to people who love someone with autism or people with autism as "hope" or "help" or a "cure".  Because you want to help, you invest your time/money/health in following this 'medical' ignis fatuus until you realize you're hopelessly lost and six months have gone by.  That's when you move on to the next item on list.  And you always feel as if your window to do the most good is closing fast.

If you love someone who has autism, or someone who loves or cares for someone with autism. . . THIS is why they don't greet your latest email about a "Cure" for autism with quite the enthusiasm you thought they might.  THIS is why they might take your pamphlet from "Dr." Jekyll and throw it away before they've even read the first line.  THIS is why they might actually even get pissed off at you.

I won't. . . cause I'm easy breezy.  But they might.

And while someone like Mike can say, "Flush the sporns" and it makes me laugh and want to adopt it as my own personal battle cry, when a celebrity says it. . . people stop and listen.  When a celebrity tells you to "flush the sporns", lots of people start thinking. . . Huh!  If Jenny McCarthy's (just picking random names) kid had sporns. . . maybe MY kid has sporns.  I better get to flushing!  And when a celebrity tells you that you're a bad parent if you don't try sporn flushing. . . well then a bunch of OTHER people tell you you're a bad parent for not sporn flushing, and pretty soon, you've had it up to HERE (*points to top of head*) because what you're REALLY trying to be is the absolute best parent you CAN be.  And you're passionate about it.  And the judgement pisses you off.

Alright. . . so actual sporn flushing itself seems pretty harmless.  Drink some orange juice and your child's sporns are flushed.  But sometimes sporn flushing hurts or even kills people.  Like when sporn flushing takes the form of not vaccinating your child.  Or when sporn flushing is chelation.  Or when sporn flushing is fecal transplant (FECAL TRANSPLANT!) or when sporn flushing is giving bleach enemas or electroshock.  Some of that stuff sounds just as ridiculous and laughable as Mike's suggested treatment. . . BUT THEY'RE DOING IT!!!  

And they're doing it because celebrities and "doctors" are telling them that if they REALLY loved their child, they'd be sporn flushing. . . and that SOME parents don't TRULY love their kids. . . they just love attention.  And they spell things right and use appropriate grammar and have important sounding names like Mercola, McCarthy, Wakefield, Trump, or Rivera depending upon the method described.

I'm adopting "Flush the sporns" as my dismissive agreement to any cure-du-jour from now on.  When Aunt Margaret forwards an email from her friend Betty and asks for my input, I'm just saying, "Yeah, it's the sporns.  Gotta flush them out of her system."  

Too many people on the Facebook post commented, "What is the spectrum?"  Too many people said, "Autistic people are all geniuses."  Too many people said, "Flush the sporns."  

To join my passive aggressive fight against Junk Medicine, Autism Quackery, or just general stupidity, buy this new shirt from zazzle.  Just click "Flush the sporns!" below.  Not only will you look zippy, but you'll also be lining my pockets with untold riches! (well. . . untold to you, but the gubmint will know)  RICHES!!!


Flush the sporns!

113 comments:

  1. I'll never cook with mushrooms the same again.

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    1. simmer them in orange juice to aid the flushing.

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  2. Laughing my ass off at "flush the sporns!" and the mushroom picture.

    Horrified at bleach enemas et al. Why??? Although I do have to say, fecal transplants are a legit medical procedure--I read somewhere that someone's life was saved because they received one... but I have NO IDEA how it's supposed to relate to autism? That sounds fruity.

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    1. Fecal transplants are used when a person's intestine is colonized by an infectious agent, for example, clostridia, and the usual medical drugs don't stop the diarrhea. (Just an example.) Yes, they have been doing fecal transplants in Sweden and the U.S. (for example) for years. Yes, clostridia can kill you and it's becoming increasingly resistant to treatment due to the overuse of antibiotics.

      It is related to autism in that a subset of children have really awful gastrointestinal issues, including rampant diarrhea. It is believed that restoring the biosis in the gut will help alleviate this symptom.

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    2. Those issues are related to separate diagnosed conditions. Just like any other medical treatment, if your child hasn't been diagnosed with a bacterial infestation that will respond to a fecal transplant, your child shouldn't have one. I have a feeling if people weren't using their children as living science experiments they wouldn't have serious bowel issues.

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  3. hahaaa coconut oil? thats a new one for me. lol He must be in the Wakefield Cult. i used to fight them too. Now, I've hunkered down and am building a shelter lmao When that battleaxe Jenny McIdiot spread out on playboy in the name of autism.. the end of the world IS coming!! lol

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  4. OMG. Flush the Sporns. I can't stop laughing!

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    1. Sporn flushing is no laughing matter, Anne. There's lejitimit science behind it.

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  5. Considering how tricky toilet training can be, I'm sure if any of us were flushing stuff it ain't gonna be the sporns!

    Is that you in that shirt? Man, those sideburns really are uneven.

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    1. nono. . . it's being marketed for women. If you look at who comments my blog posts. . . it's about 98% women. They're available for men too. Regardless of the state of their sideburns.

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  6. Way to give sporns a bad reputation!

    Don't hate the sporn, hate their parasitic game.

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    1. i can't love anything that even the strongest antibidics won't kill.

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  7. So I really liked your post, even though I have to disagree on one single word being included in the list of ridiculousness... cordblood. The FDA after all gave a green light to the clinical trial for the use of cord blood to treat autism. Since the standards for authorization for clinical trials on humans are fairly high, I would like to suggest that anyone should hold an opinion on this particular topic until the current trial is completed (there is also a slightly larger study due to begin shortly in Europe somewhere).

    I believe that passing judgement on this type of potential treatment is hasty and at the moment unfounded and might be better placed in a category possibly named "unproven until further research is published). I can honestly say that it struck a nerve with me seeing it placed in the same category as Bleach Enemas.

    Keep up the good work and maybe take a look at this link for some more information on the current study being conducted

    http://www.cordblood.com/en/about-cbr/stem-cell-research-news/press/2012/autism-and-cord-blood-stem-cells-FDA-gives-green-light-for-groundbreaking-clinical-trial

    I really enjoy your blog and will be sure to revisit frequently!!

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    1. Franka, thanks for your comment. I tried to explain in the previous paragraph. . . but rereading it, perhaps I didn't do a spectacular job, that I'm not necessarily saying everything I listed is completely dodgy. As far as the cord blood cure, from what i've read, it's being studied. . . but there aren't conclusions saying "this is a cure". They're looking at that. There's also SOME science behind GFCF and some of the supplements being recommended. But you HAVE to admit. . . there is currently no "cure", and there are far too many CLAIMS of cure.

      I didn't meant to imply that everything on my list was quackery. Probably I should wordsmith that a little. But only after I finish flushing the sporns. (first things first)

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    2. definetly no cure in sight, just potential treatments, but yeah go on flushing the Sporns!! I really enjoy this blog, I am becoming a fast fan!!

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    3. Woot! Clearly you have your sporns controld.

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  8. OUT OF THE WAY!!!! THERE'S SPORNS TO BE FLUSHED!

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    1. I have to eat more protein and cut down on starch. I already drink orange juice. . .

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  9. Well I guess we're just screwed. My youngest is allergic to oranges, so no orange juice or sporn flushing for him. He'll never be "cured."

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    1. I looked up MMS. . . I believe this is actually the genesis of this guy's 'sporn' cure. It says, "MMS is a mixture of 2 compounds, the first is sodium chlorite (NaClO2) and the other is citric acid (C6H8O7). When added to the sodium chlorite, the citric acid brings the combined pH level to under 5, causing the sodium chlorite to become unstable and release chorine dioxide. (ClO2)"

      So I suspect that Mike says OJ, but MEANS citric acid. He's a bleacher!!

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  10. I'm buying this shirt. I'll be the one in California promoting this message almost daily. (I'll need to wash the shirt once in a while)

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  11. BWAHAHAHA sporns. I have had it with these mother effin sporns in my mother effin gut. I love your picture, oh may this go viral now!

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    1. hahaha. Sporns are not viruses, Elle. They are sporns. They must flushed away, they cannot be vaccinated.

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  12. God, I am laughing. Okay...you said in a funny way what has been bugging me for a long, long time. The whole cure, cause, hope, help. Autism snake oil pisses me off. We all as autism parents are doing what we think is right, thank for saying it. I hate it when someone tells me, oh this diet or that therapy. Thank you for giving me a starter lexicon for my angst. "Flush the Sporns" indeed!

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    1. Don't let it get you down, Lori. It's the sporns. Gotta flush em. Vodka probably works too.

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    2. what CAN'T Daleks kill? I mean Who?

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  13. I so want one of those t-shirts.

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    1. You should totally buy one. And I'm not just saying that because I get 10%. Fine. . . I am. But you should still totally buy one.

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  14. Flushing the sporns sounds like a good excuse to eat more bacon, in my opinion. I mean, just in the name of protein consumption... and autism research.

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    1. bacon has protein, and no starch. You are on your way to a sporn free life!

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  15. This is my very first comment on your AWESOME blog!!!! I am peeing over here while laughing....maybe I will have my daughter drink it when I'm done, and she shall be cured of her autism. So glad I came across your blog! It's not very often that I find a parent of a girl on the spectrum so it's nice to read about you, and your daughter!
    Thanks for the laugh today- I desperately needed it!!!

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    1. We are out there! Peeing for autism! WARRIORS!!! Flush the sporns, Michelle! And thank you for commenting!

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  16. Wow...just wow. I think my daughter would never get behind this "cure" if she had to cut back on her starches. But thank god bacon isn't omitted - that would just be barbaric.

    I remember in the very early days of her diagnosis, looking at all of the "cures" and trying to decide which were legitimate sounding enough to try. It's hard when you first get the news and want to do anything to help your child, but it's also so painful to look back now and see how some of these "cure" pushers take advantage of parents in that fragile state.

    And now I must end this comment before I'm tempted to go look at your sporn shirt again and laugh. :)

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    1. Sporns with spears are parked in your child's intestines and you're laughing?? THAT'S barbaric! Flush the sporns, Christina!

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  17. The part that gets me is that he suggests that our children are all drunk cuz they "loose balance" due to sporns... I want the back of the t-shirt to say "Don't drive sporned", you know? And I little sporn on the weekend sounds like it might be relaxing, Chateau champignon du sporn, 1968, a great year...

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    1. I'm afraid the next tshirt will probably say, "Hell hath no fury like a woman sporned." Followed by "Children of the sporn". But loosing balance is a sryous problum.

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  18. Bad science is a pet peeve of mine, and I usually can't get involved in stuff like vaccine debates without just getting too angry to say anything cohesive. But I dig flush the sporns.

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    1. I knew you would be kickass sporn flusher!

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  19. This is possibly the best thing I've ever read related to autism! Thank you for articulating so well both the frustration with pseudoscience and the comedy inherent to bad Internet grammar.

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    1. I flushed the hell out of the sporns, didn't I? Thank you, Robin!

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  20. I think I'm going to start telling annoying people that they are "a sporn in the gut"...rather than a pain in the butt.

    I appreciate your humor...some of the things on your list make me want to scream at someone...sporns, I say, sporns!!!!

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    1. whoah . . . flush those sporns away, Lisa. No need to scream. Just flush them away. *Hands you orange juice*

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  21. If you need me, I'll be in my room looking at online sporn...which we all know is spider porn. Yes, it exists. Rule 34, dude!

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  22. OMGosh...I used to be one of those people. I dabbled in that list. One day the nutritionist we consulted told me that I should buy another 100 dollar bottle of something for brain function because they were having great fortune with it on rats in England. I quit cold turkey and ran screaming. lol. It was also the day I stopped seeing our son as a test dummy and remembered the child that he is.

    Fantastic post.

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  23. So all of the people that have autism have just never had orange juice? Tropicana needs to jump on this!

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  24. I guess I would say that I'm a little uncomfortable, I feel a little like this man is being mocked?

    I agree with not liking all the quackery, it's sometimes hard to tell what has real value in terms of a lead on treatment (cord blood, as one commenter noted) vs another that might not (say,hyperbaric chamber or dolphin therapy).

    I have found it helpful to actually attend the ARI conferences to hear the doctors and scientists articulate why they think different things might work. And to read the studies myself so that I can understand what they're talking about. It gave me a nice overview, the big picture of what they think is going on physically. So you can pick and choose between what sounds like crap and what makes more sense. But the uneducated can fall prey to the "snake oil" treatments like bleach enemas.

    Given quinine is made from a bark of a tree and seems pretty effective against malaria, I try to keep an open mind about some of these things. My son has definitely benefited from some of the biomedical interventions we have done, but certainly was not cured.

    But I do know what that man was talking about.

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    1. I feel like I need to edit. The man got a lot wrong in what he said, but I understand the concept to which he was referring, if that makes sense.

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    2. It does. I just know I would NEVER presume to tell anyone "here's the cure", let alone a bunch of people who clearly have experience with it. That alone is mildly offensive. His delivery just made it more obvious.

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  25. It amazes me how uninformed and well meaning people can be at the same time... Fecal transplants. Ick.

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  26. I love sporns. If every meal I ever ate had sporns as an ingredient, I'd be happy. I'm sporn-addicted. But worry of all worries, I don't like orange juice because it gives me acid stomach. Think of all my tummy-sporns! A WHOLE BELLY OF SPORNS.

    Also, once I am employed again, I want a t-shirt, yo.

    I know people who write like this. It makes me sadface.

    What if we combined some of the treatments? I'll take a lavender bath while horseback riding with the dolphins. For science. I'm not going anywhere near poo, though. Or enemas. Anything like that I'll leave to someone else, thanks.

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  27. Volcano water? That sounds kind of inviting, like taking a jacuzzi. I need to check if my health plan will cover volcano jacuzzis for my arthritis! Also, you seem a little hung-up on the fecal transplants, which is really more of a cure for PANDAS. Or as I like to call it, KOALAS (kind of a lot like autism syndrome).

    By the way, that sporn slideshow was pure comedic gold. Admit it, you and Douglas K. Parsons are actually the same person, aren't you?

    Flush the sporns, save the KOALAS!

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    1. Not really--You can't make someone like me up. And yes, I own a yacht and a mansion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUNdYoy1AUM

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  28. What I find most interesting, is that even though his comment was riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, he still managed to use "Affect" correctly. On a side note, this post was freaking hilarious and the t-shirts are genius

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    1. Perfect! But you know he really meant to write effect. Autocorrect got that one right for once, maybe.

      I just has to give you some love for noticing that. And you know how we love to hijack Jim's posts with random, irrelevant stuff. So...yeah.

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  29. *rocking back & forth whilst humming "Sporn Free"*

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    1. hmmm. . . that might be a good tshirt.

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  30. You hit this one out of the park! Bil and I are going to spend the weekend yelling, "Flush the sporns" at our kids. We figure if we yell loudly and scarily enough, it might help the kids flush better.

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  31. Jenny McCarthy makes my head explode. No really, sporns come out of my head.

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  32. The post you wrote that made me die. I must have a "Children of the Sporns" t-shirt. If I didn't spend my blogher money on booze for the girls, I would totally buy it right now. But I'm a good damn person, giving booze to the moms of the autism.

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    1. Priorities. Booze first, then sporns shirts. Plus also I think vodka flushes sporns. At least vodka and orange juice does.

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  33. Love this post!!! Reminds me of the day I sat through a teeth-cleaning while my dental hygenist (an otherwise charming and intelligent person) told me about an autism cure that a friend of hers had read about in Reader's Digest. It involved pig enzymes. She said that the doctor who administered the "cure" was using some product in an off-label way, so he refused to be identified because he could get in trouble. Too bad, you know, because it TOTALLY WORKED, and so yeah, there's a "cure" out there,and it's really simple and all, but you just can't have it, because after all this doctor dude doesn't want to get in trouble.

    I swear I've had sporns stuck in my teeth ever since that appointment, and they make me very crabby. Now I'm off to gargle with some OJ and see if that will help me stop loosing my temper with people who only want to help.

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    1. pig enzymes? Hmmm, that one might have to get added to the list.

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  34. I'm feeling all sporny now, and I don't think orange is the cure. . .

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    1. there ain't no pill that can cure your ill.

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  35. Oh, I get it now. Sporns...funny. As you know, I've been a little out if the loop lately. (And yes, as for your friend Mike, bless his heart.)

    This is one of those things that's funny I general, but utterly hilarious to those of us who know it's absolutely true (just to be clear, I mean the "miracle elixir" aspect of this...not the sporns).

    Anyway, thanks for the laugh. And the important public service message. All wrapped up in your nice Lil package.

    P.S. Note to self: Ask husband to pick up some more OJ on way home.


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    1. Know what I hate more than sporns? Not being able to edit my own blog comments full of stupid, mobile-device, crappy comment typos. I'm thinking now that maybe your sporn buddy is a brilliant scientist victim to the altered reality of an I-thing diluting his genius with typos, skipped letters and general snafus. I think I'm on to something here...

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    2. blog commenting from mobile is sketchy. I hate doing it.

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  36. Bleach enemas? Umm, where does one even begin?

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  37. When my toilet is clogged I dump orange juice down it so this makes perfect sense to me.

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  38. So I'm not the only one who has been told some of these wild and often dangerous "cures" for autism. In my family we have who Ill call the Crazy Great Aunt who we under no circumstances leave my sister alone with and try to limit all contact with because she believes she can cure her. First she wants to perform and exorcism (demons infest autistic kids you know- my brain is exploding even typing this) and then do a full body cleanse complete with adding bleach to her milk to flush all the chemicals the government gave her vaccines to make her autistic out of her. Then she needs to drink special herbal concoctions daily to fight off the chemicals. I have tried over the years to explain how unbelievably crazy her ideas are but scientific proof and sheer common sense will not work with individuals like this. Ive learned over the last sixteen and a half years just to let it go. Don't get me wrong it would be great to know the causes of Autism and ways to advance aiding individuals with it but I don't really know if its something that can be "cured". I mean really who is "normal". Don't let it aggravate you I chalk the people who have found the wonder cure in with those who think an autistic child simply needs stricter discipline and that its the parents fault they have their isms and fits.

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    1. Now at least you can tell your crazy great aunt that you already learned everything about flushing the sporns and she's totally right!

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  39. I'm sorry...I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...or both. I am so fed up with the world right now...specifically the schools, the teachers, the lack of anybody really "getting it." I really needed something to snap me out of it. This did it for me. I needed a way to laugh at it all. I sooooo want a t-shirt! (I teach college English, so your post was amusing for me on multiple levels!)

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    1. laugh!

      English teachers scare me because I know you could probably bleed ALL OVER this post. (which would be a fun kind of irony in light of my criticism of Mike above)

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  40. Here via SkepChick. Fantastic essay, thank you. And I LOL'd at Children of the Sporn.

    I wonder which part of the mushroom is the sporn? So, of course, I googled sporn and got a company that sells dog leashes. And of course numerous references to the game Spore. There are a couple men featured on wikipedia named Sporn and I wonder if they realize they're associated with some mysterious part of a mushroom that lives in people's intestines?

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    1. Well. . . I don't claim to be a sporn expert. For that sort of thing you'd need to speak directly with Mike. . . but if I had to guess. . . autism sporns and mushroom sporns are just similar. . . not the same. So. . . you know. . . don't make soup.

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  41. My computer just did something seriously odd. I'm not sure if my comment was sent to you half finished or if I deleted it before it was sent. But this fires me up enough that I'll rewrite.

    This summer, there was a mom who waited for me at VBS pick up to talk about my son, who apparently was bothering hers. Not by doing anything to him, just by his behaviors. And she wanted me to know that if I fed him an all-organic diet, he'd be cured of autism. And if I joined some crack-pot fb page she suggested, they'd have miracle cures and help- which I'm sure would be so much more helpful than the three therapists he sees outside of school and three he sees in school.

    Took all my strength not to start dropping f bombs right there in the church hallway.

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    1. My computer is doing weird crap too. . . like not letting me reply to comments, for example.

      Anyway. . . well-meaning. . . well-intentioned. . . it's still hard to stop the F-bombs from dropping when an arm-chair autism expert provides you with one of those 'cures' that a brother's friend's mom who has a kid with autism knows about.

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  42. Thank you! For saying everything I want to say but I'm too afraid of offending the other autism parents in my local group. Lost my cool last month when someone brought up chelation- normally I zone out during those talks too much of me wants to get a high-school biology book and scream "READ IT!"- but I "may" have come down a little hard on chelation. Now I have a handy solution my passive-aggressively perfect "Flush the sporns" shirt. You must add a kid's and dad's size so my family can properly get the word out.

    On a more serious note-I love your blog. I have four kids my oldest son has autism and four years post-diagnosis I felt pretty confident about it all; but my soon to be 3 year old daughter is on her road to get diagnosed- my uneducated bet- Aspie. I keep hearing how much girls on the spectrum are different in a scary and bad way that your blog has been my little beacon in the negativity storm. Since I just found you, I've been reading slowly your older posts and often see ways in which your daughter and my son are a LOT alike and it helps reassure me that "I got this"-well as much as you can anyway :)!

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    1. honestly, I try to keep my judgements to myself about most of that stuff. I think everyone tries to do his/her best with their kids, and there's SO MUCH misinformation, it's difficult to tell what's "right" or "wrong". It reminds me of diet medicine. Always there's some goofy new "diet" and it works for some people and not others, or it works for a while, but not permanently. . . it's snake oil.

      Which is not to say that all the stuff on my list is snake oil. . . just that it's really hard to tell the difference.

      I have a bloggy friend with a near-death chelation experience with her son. . . so I hear you.

      And thank you!

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    2. This is the first I've heard that autistic girls are "different in a scary and bad way." I'm not sure what you mean and who's saying this. Are you hearing it form random autism parents or "experts"?

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  43. The people of South Africa have not been warned about sporns! If I don't get this t-shirt for Christmas (and pouch shipping takes an additional 2-3 months at this time of year, so come on, people!) I'm going to have to do some fecal transplants.

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  44. Replies
    1. Really late to this party but I just got sent a link to this post and I love it. I now have the cure I was never looking for. Thank you so much.
      I'm going to get me a flush the sporns shirt and wear it to every single autism related event I go to. I hope, one day, I'll meet Keri Rivera at one. I will flash my flush the sporns T-shirt at her and when we have finished the "OMG where can I get one?" conversation, I'll ask her why she didn't reply to my last e-mail. I think I might have made her :(
      http://autismum.com/2012/06/06/mms-for-autism-a-reply/

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    2. haha WOOT! We kicked the keg a while ago, but there's still spiked punch, so you're golden.

      I suspect Ms. Rivera got LOTS of emails like the one you wrote (that I read). Maybe you'll get your reply shortly...

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    3. She replied to my first one. I thought we'd connected. I know we don't agree on everything but even BFFs gotta have something on the other to bitch about. I'm quite :(

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  45. The most frightening people are the people with credentials and good grammar and excellent diction. A doctor came to my school and proposed autism is increasing because more "nerds" are marrying and reproducing. "Nerds," formerly eschewed by potential mates are now sought for their incomes by beautiful, fertile women, who mate with them and produce autistic children.

    What??!

    And that is dangerous. Absurd. Yes. But coming from the Learned One, it takes on validity for some people.

    Exercise caution about what you hear and read. Please.

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  46. Fecal transplantation is real and is a cure for serious and fatal conditions of the bowel, as well as IBS. (please read Gulp by Mary Roach, an excellent book). However, I don't see how it could possibly help anyone with autism unless they also happen to have a serious bowel condition along WITH autism.

    If I have one more person tell me that I should put my son on a gluten free diet I am seriously going to explode. He has a gastroenterologist, nutritionist, and an endocrinologist and none of them recommend that anyone go gluten free unless they have been diagnosed with celiac disease. GAH!! For most people in the world gluten is their primary source of protein and telling people that they shouldn't eat it is downright irresponsible. My son seems to survive on air and gluten...and sporns apparently ;)

    Don't dis the fecal transplant though, seriously, it's a real cure, and a simple one, for an invasion in your gut of hostile bacteria that can't be cured with antibiotics.

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    1. After I wrote this you were not the first to comment that fecal transplant, as bizarre as it sounds to me, is a legit treatment.

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  47. I hate to come in as a logic troll:) However, the potential of a Gut-Brain connection and a potential subgroup of Autism is becoming noted as a credible possibility by the director of the National Institute of Health Tom Insel, who mentioned this in the last IACC meeting. He is a "Rock Star" of science so he is a credible source of information.

    I don't know much about the "sporns" at this point.

    There is actually a subgroup of Autism associated with Classical PKU, controlled by diet. There is a deficient enzyme that is noted as the cause.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12757360

    Some of the things on the list will potentially help different subgroups on the spectrum and some will not.

    I'm not so sure that control Autism is the same as Cure Autism. I think it is actually reasonable to believe that the more difficult symptoms can potentially be controlled to some degree by therapies like ABA and certainly in the of Classical PKU and diet.

    It appears that the author of the advice was a little too enthusiastic about his latest find.

    I cannot help but to be enthusiastic about Omega 3 Fatty Acids as they are approved to treat Animal Arthritis and associated difficulties with the auto-immune system and inflammation. Lovaza (not the ABA guy:)) eventually may treat more than high Triglycerides in humans, if the FDA approves it by way of future research on humans.

    Per anecdotal evidence I have several serious immune system issues that are now in remission after having High Triglycerides, and the "wonder" fish pill. I'll wait for the research to come in before spreading the news, about a potential coincidence.

    I'm not seeing "stupid" in the style of the Author. I'm seeing a mobile phone, perhaps a steering wheel or other activity, and a failure to move to the other screen for punctuation, and/or time, effort or opportunity to correct typos. I have been tempted, in the past, to take that route, but the details won't let me do it. :)

    All that said, I loved your post and the hilarious wit of metaphor you use to brighten the days of others, as usual. :)

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    1. omega-3 is something Lily has taken.

      I like your glass half full approach to our sporn friend. You're a good soul.

      Thanks for the other information!

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  48. *in the case of Classical(not gas)*
    :)

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  49. Had to go; got in a rush. Make that "Institute of Mental Health*, even if someone finds the word Mental and Autism offensive in the same sentence. :)

    For some reason, this post made the details 'even' more important, than unusual. :)

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  50. One more visit; I feel compelled to share this excellent blog by a veteran Autism Research Scientist in the UK, who presents a well reasoned look at the current state of science on the potential Brain-Gut connection associated with subgroups of Autism.

    http://questioning-answers.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/gastrointestinal-mucosal-molecular-profile-autism.html

    Dam, I just remembered to add it to my list of 30+ safe sites for people on the Spectrum and People who love them.

    Beyond the laugh, thanks for this post. It fortuitously reminded me to do that. :)

    It is a good resource because it takes the "Wakefield out of the Gut", where one can move more easily into "reasonable" territory to better understand the potential Gut-Brain connection, in subgroups on the spectrum.

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    1. i don't know that one. I'll have to check it out. I follow Jon Brock...I love reading about his research. But I haven't read that one.

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    2. Dr. Jon Brock is my favorite for perspectives on Autism Science. I have linked his blog resources in many places over the course of the last couple of years. Paul Whiteley, who I linked above from the UK, lists Brock and other interesting Research Scientists on his Blog Roll.

      I like the AutismSD page that Jon Brock follows on his page, as a source of information on Autism Research exploring interesting topics, in a way that a lay person who is not science oriented could likely gain new insight by reading.

      Interestingly, the Omega 3 Fatty Acids issue is their topic of the moment, where they provide a reasonable assessment that the research is young and limited at this point on the value of Omega 3 and subgroups on the spectrum.

      I think the value for conditions like arthritis may be more specific in measured positive results, if the research on dogs is any clue. My Vet turned me on to that research. (Vet for my cats, not me) :)

      Autism SD also focused on a most interesting out of the box topic, as to whether or not people on the spectrum were more likely to experience the "paranormal" or Hallucinate.

      Most interesting to me, as I would not have expected it when I first visited the Wrong Planet Website, per Asperger stereotype, but some of those folks are enthralled over what I've seen in the "herd" with the paranormal, while not as often enthralled with traditional religion.

      Generally speaking, there is a higher than usual correlation in research of Schizotypal PD and Asperger's, which also seems contrary to stereotype.

      Additionally, Autism SD focuses on an androgen issue I had not seen before.

      I apologize for filling up your blog with this information. As one can imagine I comment there on some of these specific research related issues as a special interest filling comments to the 'brim'. However, here is the link that is a fast read, and very easy for the Lay person to follow, I think. (Not suggesting you are Lay by the way).

      http://autismsd.com/omega-3-fatty-acid-supplementation-and-autism/

      Thank you for identifying me as a soul of 'any kind', too. I am usually referred to as a computer of sorts, even among some of my online 'spectrum' 'friends'. Nice to hear "human" feedback. :)


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  51. But I LIKE my sporns! They're like my family. *sniff*

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